Marriage …… or none at all?

Marriage ...... or none at all?

“It was whirlwind romance…… and I enjoyed every minute of it when we were together during my recent holiday in the Philippines,” says one Pinay — who’s in her late 30s or early 40s, plain looking — to another Pinay inside a bus bound for Central.
“He asked me to marry him, but I didn’t give him a straight answer because I wasn’t sure if I want to marry him. But we really had a great time even if it was our first time together,” she adds giggling, apparently reminiscing tender moments she spent with the guy.
“Why didn’t you accept his marriage proposal? That’s chance of a lifetime,” says her friend who was clearly excited about what she was hearing.
I stood next to them inside that crowded bus, but they didn’t mind me at all because they thought I’m a Hong Kong Chinese. The first Pinay, who apparently just got back from a recent holiday in the Philippines didn’t even mind relating how the first meeting with an online boyfriend led to intimacy and his subsequent marriage proposal.
By her looks, she is clearly heading past her prime and should have grabbed the opportunity of marrying a guy who expressed a desire to take her for his wife.
I can’t help but wonder why she didn’t immediately accept the marriage proposal until . . . I remembered the all too familiar, frequent and occasionally heart-rending outpourings of heartaches and headaches of scores of Pinays in Hong Kong.
Philandering husbands …. lazy ….. irresponsible …. immature …. hardly at work as more time is spent with friends, booze and even women.
What often explains this deplorable way of life of husbands of overseas female Filipinos?
The fact that their partners are earning US dollars or other types of foreign exchange outside the Philippines and they will certainly send home money regularly — especially for the food, education and other needs of their children.
This phenomenon is certainly one of the major costs of migration that will continue to pester in the coming months and years.
It is a major problem facing countless female Filipino overseas workers. Resolving this problem will always be an uphill climb, bu there is simply no other option but to confront and overcome it through an array and combination of bold and persistent methods, like patient and firm communications with a wayward partner, encouragement and advice, and even occasional threats of splitting up in favor of a more responsible and mature new partner.
The more I thought about that woman’s rejection of a very enticing marriage proposal, the more I imagine her anticipating the possible downside in getting tied down to a man who is overly eager in bringing her to the altar — even if they still don’t know each other very well.


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